Konina Travel Guide

I don't know how you could write such awful things about Konina. I must correct you now:

1. Goat cheese is not the only food in the village. 8 year old boys run around selling berries in jars. These berries do not give you the power to bounce on your butt, though. (Come to think of that, why haven't we useed those berries to make drinks?!?! Aahh, the million dollar idea which came in too late...)
2. The goat cheese, does make your IQ drop down to like 7 or something like that, but it's darn good! I remember you eating a whole bunch of it :) Also, it was 181 hours of non-stop sex, we counted it (unfortunately, we ran out of video tape :) )
3. I'm not going to give my address in Konina (it sounds like I'm a local :) ), because all the fun is in going there, then getting lost in the woods, when we find the fresh guinea pigs/hot ladies to feed the goat cheese to :)

Also, Konina was the set for the blockbuster "Captain Szczoch and the Fellowship of Crap" or at least the trailer. It was also the location of the famous "one tomato fight".

So, as you can see, it's not bad for a small village when civilization ends and the paved roads revert back to 1895. Come and see Konina, where surprise hides behind every tree to jump out and sexually abuse you. (Now that's a good travel slogan!!)

It's also freakin scary after dark in Konina. The rumour has it, the lady from a local grocery store adds a secret mixture to her goat cheese (the only food available in the village) which decreases your IQ level to an equivalent of a cold iron. Then she kills you.. Or at least makes you work in the field during the night when it's -20 degrees Celcius outside. The mixture supposedly can also make it possible to have sex 183 hours non-stop but that has only been proven once. We're looking for new guinei pigs volounteers. Do come to Konina! Konina welcomes you stranger :D PS - especially pretty stranger ladies, what's the house address Martin, Konina 3? Konina 5? Just come, we'll find you ;]

The total end of the world, no cell phone coverage, located right next ot the Gorczański National Park. Excellent place to relax and get away from civilization.